Damage Control

One of the most useful things a person can learn is how to practice damage control. Everybody makes mistakes, but we can do things that prevent mistakes from becoming disasters.

A tool for practicing damage control is to admit to making the mistake. Making a mistake does not mean that a person is a loser; it means that they are a learner. We're all learning. Nobody has all the answers, and even those who have a lot of answers sometimes have a hard time putting them into practice.

Criticism is not always mean. Sometimes it is a sincere effort to help you become more successful in life. It does not mean that you are not a viable human being when someone criticizes you, whether it is done in spite, or in irritation, or in kindness, or if the person means well, but has a poor way of expressing it. Our Heavenly Father loves us all, regardless of our flaws.

Don't make a mistake worse by trying to cover it up with a lie. Lies get found out, and that causes people to lose respect for the one who lied. Somewhere down the line, you might need to be trusted and respected by the people you lied to. Besides that, a clear conscience is easy to live with, whereas guilt hounds us into a corner, and then there is a tendency to do stupid things to escape it.

Don't burn bridges by acting like a jerk about your mistakes. Indifference to pain we cause others has a tendency to make them indifferent to us when we may have need of their help. We might think we will never meet up with that person again, or have need of them, if they remain in our life, but people have been wrong about that lots of times.

A sincere apology is another vital tool for dealing with our mistakes. Don't make excuses. Don't say, "I'm sorry, but . . . " That will dilute the sincerity of the apology. Making excuses for a mistake is likely to enrage the other person, which is not helpful to you.

Sometimes the other person makes too big of a deal over us failing to meet their expectations. Example: when I was a waitress, some customers acted like they thought they were my only customer, though I was the only waitress and a lunch rush was on. They would get mad, if they didn't get their food as fast as they wanted it.

There are a lot of people who wait too long to go to a restaurant when their blood sugar takes a dive, and there's no point in trying to reason with that. They might be feeling too sick to think straight. The best thing to do is to apologize, and do it expressively, so as to convey the idea that you have let them down terribly and you are soooo sorry about that.

You might not feel as badly about it as they want you to feel. You might think that they're acting like whiney, little babies, or an odious jerk, but they aren't going to be happy unless they think you're wallowing in shame. So apologize with oomph. Maybe they won't complain about you to your boss, if you can placate them.

I was sincerely sorry that I didn't get their food to them as fast as they wanted it. I would have gotten a tip, if I could have served them faster. I didn't have to tell them that I was sorry that I wasn't getting a tip.

If your Mom or Dad is mad, and you're not feeling sorry for what you did, but you will get into big trouble with them if you repeat that mistake, don't repeat the mistake. They will get more and more angry until you've cheated yourself from getting their cooperation when you need something from them. Go outside of yourself, put yourself inside their head and look at what you did from their point of view. Develop empathy. It will help you be more sincere when you need to apologize to mollify their irritation or rage.

Whenever you can, compensate others for the inconvenience or grief your mistakes have caused. In customer service, it is good to ask a disappointed customer, "How can I make this better for you?" That is a good tack to take in personal relationships, as well. They might suggest something that is unreasonable, but you have started negotiations and will, hopefully, find a solution that works for both parties.

Sometimes, mistakes are very serious, such as engaging in sexual sin and it results in pregnancy. A child is ALWAYS a gift from God, regardless of how they are conceived, an emblem of His mercy, and an opportunity to grow character by taking responsibility for the baby. It may lead to giving up the baby for adoption, behaving responsible in that way, but if abortion is chosen, then the mistake becomes a tragedy. Try to keep mistakes contained; don't let them lead to something horrible by continuing on the path of error.

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